Life

In the last three weeks I have been without DSL at home and without my beloved Elph.  Oddly, both were returned to working order yesterday, HURRAH!

I'm sitting in a tower with work still in front of me, procrastinating not from my duties but from going home (who does that?)  Though I could opt to head out and finally share some of my beloved images with you all, I am more inspired to work in words tonight.

I am at a crux of change.  My absence from buzznet has been coincidently timed with my retraction from my "scene".  Yesterday I wrote an email explaining to my close social circle where I've disappeared to and why.  It only just occurred to me that buzznet community and personal community are parallel; I have dropped out of both almost entirely.

In this moment, while I am looking out of this high rise window on the world I admit that I don't know where I'm going.  What I do know is that this life I have been building for the last nine years is going to change.  Though I am tempted to cling to it out of nostalgia and a dash of fear, I realize that I am already on another path; my task now is to create the vision for what is in front of me.

This morning I woke to the sound of a rooster heralding the dawn.  In the previous three days I lead a country life.  I watched salmon spawning in a stream.  I picked wild almonds.  I harvested apples, persimmons, olives and pomegranates.  I cooked DELICIOUS FRESH food with FRIENDS.  I fed miniature horses.  I read.  We sat communing around the table each night after dinner listening to music or reading something of interest aloud and then discussing it.  (We never made it to the Scrabble game.)

Last year on the same weekend I saw the biggest party weekend of my life.  It was *almost too much* fun.  I wasn't lead in that direction for 2005.  This difference is indicative of a larger change in me.  I am no longer the avid party girl.  I am growing into a new stage of womanhood.  I'll still go dancing, but my friendships are now built on more than this.

In the next 24 hours I should have both my Elph and DSL in working order.  I know I've been MIA; I'll be back here soon.

Hugs,

M